13
Mar
12

believe

You know there are some things you keep meaning to do and life gets in the way of you doing them? I’m not talking about putting on a show or applying for funding or writing a play or changing your career. I’m talking about the little things. Baking cupcakes and decorating them, reading a book (that’s not a text book), walking on the beach (barefoot), getting to that yoga class or meditation session…the things the Choccy Chicks tell us are not the luxuries but the self-nurturing necessities of life. Appropriately, they grace the cover of Holistic Bliss this month. Well, tonight I did the meditation session. Raelene Byrne, of medicineforyourspirit.com is leading her groovy, guided meditation each week in the middle of nowhere bushland in Diddilibah. As the weather cools down, she is promising hot chai, so I’ll definitely be going back!

Tonight though, let me tell you, I didn’t want to go. I was so tired, I’d left some things unfinished, the house was a mess, I wanted to sleep, I was hating on Diddilibah for being so far away from me and I thought perhaps I should stay home instead, especially since Poppy wasn’t happy to see me go out again and Sam is off to Sydney tomorrow for Short + Sweet (sorry, Augusta Supple, the boys won’t boycott; they want to win it, regardless). Also, I got lost. I know where the place is – I have a friend who lives near there – and I once handed out to the punters there, How to Vote cards, so I KNOW where it is. Just not how to get there. And Diddilibah Road is long. And dark. I drove for fifteen minutes (just along Diddilibah Road!) and turned right instead of left and, you know, knew that was wrong because I was headed up Kiels Mountain, turned around and found the place but not before I’d gotten lost. I hate that I had to get lost to find the place I was supposed to be in. You know? Yeah, you know. How profound.

So when I got there I was half relieved (Candles! Light! Incense!) and half sick of being out without a glass of bubbly in hand. Oh well. Lemon and ginger tea would have to suffice. Looking forward to that chai, let me tell you. I love finding new little pockets of Woodfordia right throughout the year. The first was David Berthold’s production for La Boite of As You Like It. The second, Raelene’s meditation tonight.

Fairy cards were offered at the door and the card that was peeking out at me was:

RISE ABOVE PROBLEMS

Perfect. Yes. Got it in one. Lots of problems this week. Lots. On several different levels. Clearly, I shall rise above them.

I meditated on being a writer (BE THE WRITER) and afterwards, introduced myself to Cheryl, with whom I’d connected, as an acting and vocal coach. Shit! Well, of course I am, sure, but you see, one of the problems this week has been a minor identity crisis. And by minor, of course I mean major.

Another problem has been that my five year old has started behaving like a teenager. She doesn’t take “no” for an answer and she’s staying up late. She goes through phases that are akin to my own guilt trips, apologises for failing to live up to my expectations, “feels bad” (she wails, “Mama, I feel BAAAD!”) and throws herself across the lounge, her bed, my bed (whatever is nearest), like a Hollywood starlet with her own reality TV show. One can only hope that all this rehearsal will lead to a lucrative contract.

“This meditation is very guided…” Okay, although I was interested to notice that Cheryl commented to Raelene later, “I didn’t hear a lot of your stuff. I just didn’t hear it.” I guess you take in whatever you take in at the time. Like an audition, or a show, you’ve got whatever you bring to it and that’s it. Get what you can. Give everything you have in that moment. And that’s your audition. Or performance. Or meditation.

I liked “very guided” because, as I said, I was so tired and I’m crap at meditation on my own. I don’t have the self-discipline to stop life for long enough to enjoy that quiet part of my life. That seems ridiculous, doesn’t it? On the other hand, I’m willing to go and be guided. And it was a pretty confronting little trip tonight (and by trip I don’t mean the getting lost to get there part or that there were drugs involved, though perhaps, for some, that would certainly help conjure those chakra colours. Just saying)…

I BELIEVE

I BELIEVE IN ME

How many artists (how many people) can honestly say, “I believe in me”?

I’m coaching a girl at the moment, who told me today that what we’re doing for her as an actor is changing her as a person. In a good way! The relaxed, easy approach to the story behind the text, as if its her own story, and the strong choices we’re making with regard to character and objectives, are helping her to relax in real life and become a more confident person, in her relationships with others and in the way she goes about her day. Fantastic! That’s what I like to hear! Well, what if we all started to approach the real life part in the same relaxed, easy manner as rehearsal (LIFE IS NOT A REHEARSAL) and made strong, clear choices about what our next word or action will be? We’d all be much better at selling ourselves on opening nights and Industry nights, wouldn’t we?!

Anyway, apparently there was awesome energy in the room – auras, blue orbs and…all that stuff, lots of healing emerald green; an Aurora Borealis installation art piece. Whatever. I don’t see it but the vibrations from the crystal bowls certainly make me tingly all over and feel kinda floaty, like when I used to practice astral projection so I could travel the world at night when my parents thought I was fast asleep. True. I visited all the continents when I was twelve.

So after we had focused on BELIEVE and I BELIEVE IN ME, I came away with a monstrous headache. Core message being that if we would only believe in ourselves as much as those around us do, we could accomplish anything.

Significance of headache? Hmmm…

Might need to mediate on that.

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